Drafting and planning

Here is my first draft for my trailer 'Poezzi.' I will present this first draft to my class soon to see what I can improve on. I just need to add a voice over over the money scene seen about 43 seconds in, as my microphone broke so I was not able to film it. However I will have plenty of time to add in the voice over onto the money scene.  As shown by my previous blog posts, https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7887613833309882933#editor/target=post;postID=8584099644708172159;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=6;src=link, I have spent a fair bit of time editing certain segments for my trailer and have gotten positive feedback for it, http://lewisglennonmediaa2.blogspot.co.uk/2016/02/target-audience.html. I am pleased with how these segments have come out as the sound/music synchronizes well with the footage and it really shows the audience a glimpse of action as well as the damage both gangs can do. However as it is my first draft there is still room for improvement and I think that the start of the trailer needs work as I still haven't got many sounds to use it it to build suspense and mystery around Poezzi. Therefore after feedback from my class I will start to focus more on the start of the trailer to try and create this mystery and suspense around Poezzi. However overall I am happy with how this first draft looks as I feel the middle and end bit of the trailer is very strong, and I also have plenty of time to brush up and improve certain elements of it!